I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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