Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
