Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
