the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
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