Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
