I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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