You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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