butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
