we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
