We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
