yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
