next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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