Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
