DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
