Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Randomize
