it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
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