woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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