he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
