She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
He shit in the fireplace
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
