I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
