No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
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