actually, I'm a sock model
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
