The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
