She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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