Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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