I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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