so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
