Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Farmville is her only friend.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
