i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
