We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
