You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Less talking, more tequila
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
