I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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