i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Randomize
