rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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