I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Randomize
