Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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