How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
