fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
