not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
So much rum. So many feels.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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