I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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