Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
