I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
