I'll bet she douches with gravy.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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