Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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