We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
