Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
