Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
