i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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