I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
that is very illegal...i love you.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
