I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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