after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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